HURTING PEOPLE NEED HEALTHY GUIDANCE

“This experience has really opened my eyes to the realization that many people are hurting. I just never noticed it before.” My friend was commenting on her new awareness. She had spent two weeks by the bedside of a loved one in the trauma intensive care unit of Harborview Medical Center. As we prayed and talked over her feelings, I was again reminded how much hurting people need healthy guidance. The healing, therapeutic touch or word of a friend provides immeasurable comfort and relief.

The church should be a center for healing, encouragement and help. Unfortunately, some people are hindered, rather than helped by their experience in church. For example:

Well-intentioned people who speak or act without thinking. “Just get over it” is not good advice for a person in the grieving process. Working through the stages of grief takes time and God’s help. Nor does it help to say, “I know just how you feel.” The reality is, nobody knows exactly how another person feels. You may have endured similar circumstances, and can share your story when the time is appropriate. But it seems trite to compare your situation to the grieving person’s.

False assumptions. You might tremble at the prospect of jumping out of an airplane without a parachute. But what if I told you the airplane was sitting on the ground?

You might believe that every person who has cancer dies from it. But you would be wrong. Many cancer survivors can testify to healing through both Divine and medical treatments. The reality is that every single person will die from something someday. Our false assumptions can keep us from moving forward with hope. They can also hinder the grieving process or reaching a place of acceptance and healing.

Simplistic answers and wrong beliefs. A hurting person is often confused and questions everything. In the process, they can come to the wrong conclusions about their circumstances. Often they will try to find a simple answer when a hundred complicated ones would not explain their predicament. Have you ever had these thoughts or has anyone ever said to you:

· "You must have done something to deserve this." While our actions or sins do have consequences, your own personal circumstances or loss may not be attributable to your own personal choices. To always believe so is a serious mistake that Job’s comforters made.

· "The devil is behind this. . .." In Job’s case, the devil for certain was behind his trouble, yet God still permitted it. The devil is not personally responsible for every problem we face. Sometimes we suffer loss and people die of old age. The Bible tells us we may battle the world, the flesh and the devil. Chasing demons is not the answer when working through grief or loss. “Spiritual warfare” will do little to ease your suffering when a tragedy occurs or a loved one dies. God, Scripture, a caring friend, and time will help immeasurably, though.

· "You must not have enough faith." This is an old line, and one that could be applied to every person listed among the “heroes of faith” in Hebrews chapter 11 – for they all suffered losses in many different ways, yet they all had great faith!

· "You must be out of the will of God.” The truth is, we can reside in the very center of God’s will and still be in a real pickle! Scripture is full of stories about God-fearing people from Joseph to the Apostle Paul who were doing God’s will and suffered anyway.

· “You can’t trust the medical profession, you know. If you will buy my remedy you will get better.” The fact is, God often provides healing in a variety of ways, and He certainly does use people in the medical profession. Luke, the author of the Gospel that bears his name as well as the book of Acts in the New Testament, was a physician! Anecdotal information or testimonies are not always helpful to a hurting person, because the experience of another person, no matter how wonderful, might not be the experience of the next person. What worked for one might not work for another.

Ultimately, our trust must be in the Great Physician to heal spirit, soul and body. Jesus once used mud to heal blindness (John 9:6). But He doesn’t want us to market the curative powers of “healing mud.” Instead, He wants us to trust in the Healer who applied the mud.

With God’s help and with our help, hurting people can become healthy people. The church should be a catalyst for making it happen. What do you think?